Preparing the toddler for the baby-Phase 1

We have begun our attempts to educate Peyton about the baby and how things will change once the baby is born.  We've broken out the baby photo album so he can see what he looked like as a baby and how Mommy and Daddy are always holding the baby.  We've attempted to start reading "Baby on the Way" and "What Baby Needs" by Dr. Sears, but Peyton isn't very good at sitting still for reading a book, so mostly it's been paraphrasing based on what the pictures in the book are showing and how it pertains to our lives.  I've been trying to have Peyton feel Sierra when she moves and talk to her through my belly, but mostly she stops moving when he's near, unless he's sitting in my lap then he has been kicked a couple of time and he won't talk to the belly, just blow raspberries on it, which get me laughing so I guess it's good bonding and therapy for the baby too.

So from all this the conclusion my husband and I have come to agreement on is this, Peyton is definitely acting much different than usual, more clingy, more cuddly, but the shift has been from yelling "no" every time I mention the baby to wanting to look at pictures of him as a baby and cuddling his stuffed animals like babies.  I guess that's progress.  Something that definitely isn't progress is the potty training.  This is a child that knows that he's supposed to go to the bathroom in the potty, he knows when he has to go and has known this for a very long time, however, he is now going in his diapers and underwear again.  Definitely not good.

Hopefully as we continue on this journey it will get easier.  At least the most important thing seems to be true.  Peyton seems to be learning to love Sierra and we've reassured him that we will love him just as much when she's born.

What if he hates her?!

A new fear that I never even considered before has cropped up in my head.  What if Peyton hates his little sister?  This isn't a random fear that has appeared out of nowhere, Peyton is demonstrating a deep hatred of all things baby that is getting worse by the day!  At first we thought his "NO!" outbursts in response to, "are you going to be a good big brother," or "do you want a little brother or sister" were just him not really understanding the whole process.  But the answer is consistently no and now he's regressing to baby like behaviors and showing a serious dislike towards babies we see.  Today when I went to buy my Moby wrap and swing from someone off Craigslist that has a little one probably around 3 months old, he eyed him suspiciously the whole time we were there and then has a temper tantrum when we left, yelling "No baby!" over and over again.  He wants to be cuddled and held like a baby (I love it, but am wary of it at the same time), is crying more when going down for naps or at night, which he hasn't done in about 6 months, is having increased separation anxiety, and lit up like a Christmas tree today when I was trying out my new Moby wrap and I let him get in to try it out.  He snuggled up to me like he never wanted to be put down again.  You have to understand, before the last couple of weeks, this kid did not want to be held for anything.  He's entered the independent, terrible twos stage and being held is a sign of weakness.  Not anymore.  Now he wants his pregnant mama to carry him up the stairs.  What's a parent to do?

Is this really in response to the new baby?  Does he sense the culture change already affecting our home?  Will he warm up to the idea if we give him time and put forth the effort to explain it all to him?  I hope so.  As if in response to my worry, Mothering Magazine posted a question on Facebook the other day asking what are the best books for introducing your toddler to the idea of a new baby on the way.  A lot of moms referred to the two Dr. Sears books for children entitled Baby on the Way and What Baby Needs.  So I've got one on hold at the library and ordered the other from Amazon since I'm already a professed Dr. Sears fan.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that constant reiteration of these books, letting him feel the baby move and see it as my pregnancy progresses, and a lot of love and cuddles to reassure him that he is not being replaced, will guide him to be a loving, helpful big brother.  God help me if it doesn't!