The Rose and Thorn Project

So in an effort to find exactly what makes me happy, what makes me mad/sad/anxious/depressed, make time for myself and explore my photography hobby I've decided to embark on a project.  I'm not sure how long it will last, hopefully for at least 6 months, but I am on a mission of self help.  I've had a hard go of it at times postpartum, both with my first and now with my second child.  I don't get enough me time, at times play the mothering martyr attempting to be everything to everybody, not accepting help when it's offered, and having a lot of anxiety, probably both from hormones and not taking care of myself.  I haven't found time for regular exercise, regular outdoor time, or even regular eating and drinking.  I take care of everyone's needs before my own, which often leaves me extremely angry and irritable, which isn't good for me or my family.  So my project is this:  every day I will write down the worst moment of my day (something that made me upset or angry-my thorn), the best moment of my day (something that made me smile or melted my heart-my rose), something I did for myself, and a photograph I've taken that day of one of these things or something that inspires me-yes there will probably be a lot of my children, the source of most of my joy and at times my anger, 2 years old is a trying time.  My hope is that by the end of this journey I will have a lot less in quantity and quality of things that affect me negatively and I will focus more on the positive and on improving myself and discover more of the beauty in everyday life.  Since I came up with this idea too late in the day I have no photograph, however I can come up with my rose, thorn, and me time.

Rose-Laying in bed with my 4 month old, foreheads touching as she plays with my hand, turning it over in hers, discovering my fingers and hers.  Then, she makes eye contact with me and smiles and coos.
Thorn-My son had a massive temper tantrum right as dinner was ready, my daughter wanted to eat, and my husband got home from work.  This was after a day of constant nursing and crying for an unknown reason from my daughter with very little napping so I was exhausted, thirsty and starving.  After dealing with everything I didn't get to eat dinner until 7:30.
Me time-You're reading it.  The kids are in bed and I'm blogging, an outlet for me.  I also got in a little bit of time during a nap today to put some books on hold at the library re: self discovery and spend some time on my mama's group online forum to get more input and ideas.  If it counts, because I wasn't really alone, I got in a little reading while my son took a bath for about 20 minutes after my daughter went to bed.